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Okay, there is the down low. My ex-boyfriend is back in the picture but its not what you think. I have made is perfectly clear that I have no emotional attachment to him. This is just something that is purely physical and nothing more. In a nut shell, he is a friend with benefits. Even after is many attempts to re-woo me I'm 100% positive that there isn't a chance in hell that it can go anywhere.

I know that this sounds completely belittling and disgusting just to use someone like this but there are so many things that went on in our relationship that I cannot forgive. I'm being an adult about this situation and that it the only way to handle it. I don't see it going anywhere, again.
 
 
 
 
 
 
I know that its been a while since I last updated but trust me I have been super busy getting my life together.

For starters, I got the job over at the Hospital downtown. I'm so excited to be there. I mean its like a dream come true. All I know is that I need to get through the last of pre-requisites for nursing school. For now being a clinical assistant on the ninth floor of Brackenridge is fine with me. I love it. I get to see all kinds of patients and help the nurses on duty.

On that note I have phlebotomy later this week and I'm a little nervous considering all the nasty things that I have heard about the teacher that teaches the course. Ugh. Hopefully, I'll make it out of there without utter complete humiliation. From what I have heard is that she is a total complete bitch who's only purpose is to instill fear in her new students as in introduction into blood drawing.BLEEECH!

Other than that things are fabulous. I have some other things that I need to get off my chest but that is another entry all together.
 
 
 
 
 
 
I don't know what the hell is going on these past couple of days. My sex drive is all out of wack. I have noticed that I have been really horny these past couple of days. This isn't at all normal because I know that my sex drive has calmed down from where is was a while ago. I'm pretty much heading into a eight month dry-spell. I need some relief from this drought. I do have to say that I am happy with the items that I purchased at the adult shop. If you have the means of picking one up, I would highly recommend the Hitachi Magic Wand. Enough said.
 
 
 
 
 
 


I just had to post this. These are my babies and I couldn't be happier. Chico is on the left and Bandit is on the right. They are the cutiest things when they are playing together. What I really want is a small herd of chihuahua's running around the place.
 
 
 
 
 
 
I'm a total wreck right now. I have a total of three injuries in which all of them are kitchen related. I was making Chile-rejones and while placing one in the pan some grease popped and splattered on my upper arm leaving a horrible burn.It bubbled the next day. Then the next day I was getting my egg rolls from the oven and I burned my pinky on the baking rack. Then just yesterday while I was taking some cupcakes out of the oven I burned my hand on the backing rack again!! I'm a total walking disaster! I feel beat up. This isn't the first time. I have these times every once in a while where I feel like this. I just keep getting hurt even though I'm being careful. Ugh, its annoying. I love to cook and I can't just stay out of the kitchen. Hopefully, this week will be better without incident.
 
 
 
 
 
 
So I'm making cup cakes for the many company that we are having this weekend and I love to eat the cake batter left in the bowl. Then I remembered that your not supposed to do so because of the raw egg used in the preparations. Then I recalled that it was my Microbiology professor that ruined most of all my favorite foods for me for the rest of my life. Your not supposed to eat cake batter or cookie dough because of the raw eggs and its link to Salmonella. then she told us what gelatin - the key ingredient in Jello is really made of... its by product from slaughter houses. Many part of the animals carcase that they cannot use in meat production is boiled down in to a gelatin substance. Then its dried into powered and when you add water again via la! Jello.

She has ruined some other foods for me like burnt toast, streaks and popcorn. she pretty much said that anything that is burnt is carcingenic. Anything that is carcingenic is mutigenic and that can lead to caner. I mean I realy like my grilled chesse's on the burnt toasty side!! That woman is the devil I swear.
 
 
 
 
 
 
I'm really tired, but with good reason. I went to the Alamo down in San Antonio and then had time to make it over to the San Antonio Museum of Art. I have a bunch of photos that I will get around to uploading later but first... my poor aching feet are barking. Gotta sit down for a while. It was a really special day because not only did I get to see the Alamo for the first time even though I have lived in San Antonio before for about two years, but I got to share this experience with my mother. We even went to the Art museum together. I know that its been a really long time that she's been to a place like this and really did appreciate the experience. They had a lot of psychedelic art this time. I was really fortunate.

 
 
 
 
 
 
Money money money. I know that there are a lot of things that I need to work on when my first paycheck comes in. I should be working full time until school starts again in the fall. I know that there are somethings that I really need to get soon. I guess that I should make a list of things that I plan to buy when my pay check comes in.

1. Austin City Limits sunday ticket
2. Star Wars Symphonmy tickets
3. Gym membership
4. Oil change for the car
5. New bed pillow-top
6. New vibrator

LOL! My list is very round. I know that I need some other things. For the most part I know that tickets are toward the top of the list because I don't want them to sell out. More later.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Ugh, I don't know where to start with this entry. there are so many problems that I have that there possibly can't be enough time to explain it all.

I suffer from a rather low self-esteem and a poor self-image. I have always had a problem with this every since I can remember. I guess that it all started out back in elementary school. I started a year later than all the other children, not because I started late, but I had to wait another year to enroll because my birthday was in September rather than August. So I was already a year older than the children in my grade so I was always a bigger and taller. On top of that I have always had a problem with my weight and controlling what I eat. This problem would stem from a problem that I had with my mother always limiting and restricting the foods that I would be able to have- it would really piss me off. Through the years of elementary I would gain and gain weight. Even though I was still fairly active my asthma would have something to do with it as well.

What I'm trying to say is that I have a serious problem with my weight. I know that its something that I have been trying to deal with for the majority of my life. It still is a problem .I am at the age in my life that if I don't do anything abut this right now its only going to get worse. I am 23 years old. 5,3" and 230lbs.

Now please, don't give that look. I know what your thinking. How could I have let myself get like this. It stems from a lot of things in my life. I have tried to lose weight many times and have yo-yo from many weights. I have never been this heavy in my entire life. its gotten to the point that nothing fits right and even when I sleep at night I can feel the lumps and rolls of my body and it truly bothers me. Summer is coming. Less clothing is not an option for me. I dare not wear a bathing suit.

I vow to get this under control.
 
 
 
 
 
 
I would really like to know what is it with this newly found media fascination with NEW JERSEY. I mean is MTV really that desperate to go to Jersey for some new reality television show? I'm from Texas - yeehaw. And I know that people who are native to New York have this certain stigma attached to people who are from New Jersey. Now it seems that there is an explosion of New Jersey inspired reality shows. I guess that it started off with The Real Housewives of New Jersey on Bravo. Then the infamous Jersey Shore on MTV. With just these two in circulation it seems that the viewers have made it clear that they are smiting with the characters that roll out of New Jersey. Certainly on par with a train-wreak that you cannot tears your eyes away from. One day I could not stop watching the mini-marathon on Jerseylicious on the Style network. Now as if there weren't enough Jersey related shows on television the Oxygen network is welcoming Jersey Couture to their fall line-up. Really?! I can't take it anymore. I don't know if I can continue to watch any thing on cable without being bombarded with ridiculous New Jerseian antics. Lord please give me more smarts game shows. One can only pray.